The Worst of the Worst #DevLife Jokes
The most insufferable product-development jokes about Scrum Masters, product managers, developers, UX designers, systems thinkers, and CI/CD.
Published: 2023-Sep-01
It was grueling. Brutal. Torturous! I curated the most insufferable jokes about product development.
Scrum Master jokes
- Why did the Scrum Master go broke?
- Because they kept trying to change everything, but nothing ever added up!
- How many Scrum Masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they’ll just help the team realize that the room is too dark and lighting will be improved in next Sprint.
- Why did the Scrum Master bring a ladder to the sprint planning meeting?
- Because they heard the team needed to “reach” their goals!
- How does a Scrum Master like their coffee?
- With 3 points of sugar and 2 points of cream!
- Why did the Scrum Master become a gardener?
- Because they wanted to help teams "grow" together!
- What’s a Scrum Master’s favorite song?
- “We Will Sprint You” by Queen!
- Why don’t Scrum Masters ever play hide and seek?
- Because they can’t help but reveal all the hidden issues during retrospectives!
Product Manager jokes
- Why did the Product Manager bring a ladder to the meeting?
- Because they wanted to reach the market’s high expectations!
- How many Product Managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- None, they’ll just gather user feedback and optimize the bulb-changing process for the next release!
- Why did the Product Manager bring a map to work?
- Because they wanted to find the roadmap to your heart!
- Why did the Product Manager start a gardening hobby?
- Because they wanted to understand how products “grow” in the market!
- How does a Product Manager stay cool under pressure?
- They use an “epic” air conditioner!
- What’s a Product Manager’s favorite sport?
- Product tennis — they enjoy serving and rallying ideas back and forth with the team!
(Just imagine how bad were the jokes that I did not include.)
Product Developer jokes
- Why did the Product Developer bring a hammer to work?
- Because they wanted to “nail” down the requirements!
- How many Product Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they’ll just outsource the task to a lightbulb-as-a-service provider!
- Why did the Product Developer become a magician?
- Because they could make bugs disappear with just a wave of their keyboard!
- What’s a Developer’s favorite snack?
- “Byte”-sized cookies, of course!
(You’ll thank me for removing the jokes that didn’t make this list.)
UX Designer jokes
- Why did the UX Designer bring a magnifying glass to work?
- Because they wanted to focus on the fine print of user experience!
- How many UX Designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they’ll just redesign the way we interact with the switch!
- Why did the UX Designer become a detective?
- Because they were excellent at uncovering the hidden pain points in user journeys!
- What’s a UX Designer’s favorite type of movie?
- “Action” — they love the user-centric flow of the plots!
(Trust me, the jokes I did not include are even worse.)
Systems-Thinking jokes
- Why did the computer keep crashing?
- Because it had reached its maximum level of incompetence, following the Peter Principle!
- Why don't systems thinkers ever play hide and seek?
- Because they always see the big picture and know where you're hiding!
- How many systems thinkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they’ll just redesign the entire lighting system for better efficiency!
- Why did the change agent bring a map to the office?
- Because they wanted to navigate the complexities of the corporate system!
- Why did the systems thinker become a chef?
- Because they realized cooking is all about balancing ingredients in a complex system of flavors!
- What’s a systems thinker’s favorite board game?
- “Risk” – they love strategizing and considering the global systems at play!
(The jokes not included in this list were much worse. Believe me.)
CI/CD jokes
- Why did the Developer break up with their significant other?
- Because they realized CI/CD was their true love — it never let them down and always brought their code to production!
- Why did the Developer get a promotion for using CI/CD?
- Because they proved they could “commit” to success, “integrate” well with the team, and “deploy” great results!
- What’s a CI/CD engineer’s favorite song?
- “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey — because they never stop believing in the power of automation!
- Why did the CI/CD pipeline go to therapy?
- Because it had a “dependency” issue and needed to “build” better relationships!